When Your Lifemapping GPS Tells You

...That It's Getting Worse.

(And other reasons to write a "Favorites" blog).

Not to sound like every college-ward testimony you and I ever bore, (That's a Mormon thing if you are reading this from outside the zion curtain)...but the last couple of weeks have been bad.

Call-my-mom-and-ask-her-to-call-me-in-the-morning-to-make-sure-I-wake-UP bad. You know, because that poor woman isn't already worried enough. Then I got sick, and laid awake all night long trying to barf and not being able to, which sucked because that is like the one talent I learned from getting divorced last year, and now I'm a big fail about it. People were like "is it upset stomach, or like, sore throat?" And I couldn't decide, because my throat really hurt. Turns out it was from my finger (see post from late 2008 where I thrash my throat with my fingernail and describe it to everyone). My stomach hurt. My head hurt. My throat hurt. My heart hurt.

Anyway, I guess it's time where I have to do that thing where I remind myself of my favorite things, because I get too sad when anything and everything I see reminds me of Rbf. Like I heard a Bush song, which always reminds me of the time Rbf and I "broke in" his new car once in college - note: Honda Accords not conducive to relaxing stretches of necking, so just stay home and cuddle on his smelly dudebro couch instead. It's not even like Bush was popular then either. He was like "this reminds me of my Senior year!" and I was like "Yeah! This reminds me of 8th grade! What a perv you'd be for liking me then!"

So my Top Four for this week's emotional breakdown are:

Google Chrome - my gmail is so fast and it also reminds me upon launching the browswer, of the embarrassment of sites I visit regularly. Thanks Chrome! (Bank, blog, gmail. LOSER). It also remembers passwords (careful boys) and then tells you what they are, so if your wife thinks you're sneaking around on her, she'll probably figure out your passwords to things log into. Don't be dumbasses. Cheat the old way, like on Mad Men. OR not at all, or whatever. Psycho-enabling aside, it's just slicker than Firefox or expl***r (my apologies to the Spaniard's sensibilities, but the comparison begged its mention).

Tadaki - My friend Kelly works/sews/gossips with me. She is the best of the best even on her own, but she got a CCI service dog this year named Tadaki. When he wears his vest, he is quiet and somber and holds his leash (or her file folders or anything he sees you drop) gently in his jaws. When that vest comes off, though, buckle up. One associate at work gets T all riled up, and races him down the carpeted aisle of our office and stops abruptly, sending the Tadakster skidding spastically through the office past the cubicles and copiers. It's more disruptive than the time they hired me. It is awesome. Even when I go to her house and it's "release" time (no vest), and he is therefore allowed to greet me like Kelly's Australian Shepherd, Deacon (meaning spazzout charge you, and manhandle you)...and you drop your coat/purse/sewing machine in all the excitement, and your phone goes flying across the room...Tadaki forgets he's not on duty and hurries to retrieve it for you. He returns it gently in his big strong dog-jaws without crushing or denting or scratching anything. GENIUS. He's the most chivalrous damn dog I've ever met. Kelly lets him stop at my desk on the way to hers, just for loves. They both can tell when I really need it. Kelly waited a long time for Tadaki. We could not be more honored to have him join our team at work and our circle of family at Kelly's.

Kingdom clothing - Rbf's favorite motocross team (Rockwell), who he got to go on the road with, has a line of clothing by the name of Kingdom. That meant lots of cool free things for somebody's regirlfriend! My Kindgom shirts fit long and snug and flatter me on my puffy days.

Beyond Glaze donuts - I can't imagine they're good for you in any way except for when your soul needs nurturing. But they are these beautiful works of art masquerading as donuts. They are so good, you can eat a half and not even crave more. Even though I eat a whole. The only store of theirs that I know of is in Draper, just off 123rd west of the freeway. My only disappointment is that they close at 6. I never get there in time on my way home from work. Damn traffic.

Jedidiah T-shirts - I once took Rbf into Buckle to show him their cute earth-and-orphan-loving line of T-shirts and he just thought it was damned-right fantastic. He thought it was cute that I ordered one for myself, right before he died. I found them on antiapparel.com...but when I never got my shirt (they accepted my payment), I was sad. The whole idea of it had gone from cute to special, and I didn't even have the shirt. I emailed them my story, and they rushed to send me whatever shirt I wanted, and also threw in the new one from their Hope project. I now have three Jedidiah shirts. They are the softest fabric and my favorite articles of clothing. Antiapparel was undergoing a management shift, which caused the complications with my order. When my shirts came, there was a little note inside from the guy who took my complaint, hoping it brought a little joy to my day. It did. I'll be buying more from them, too. Hope you join me.

Good night. Tomorrow is Monday. Pick a favorite thing and run with it, because Mondays can eat our poo. xo/km