Get in the car, loser, we're going slopping.

The last week was hell. There was a traffic jam of epic proportions DAILY. I was supersick through Monday with some sinus malady that made my previous colds seem like a woodstock orgy. And by sinus malady, we all know that means ear/nose/throat equilibrium clusterf**k that ends (as all good things do) in some inner-ear freak show. My ear is still ringing. When I blow my nose, it sounds like those phone calls with people who have toted their cell phones into horizontal 70-mph wind. Like there is a boat in my head, and its canvas sail is flapping about.

And Anaga, did you do a word count on that last graf? I believe it was like 750 words of me talking about an ear infection in the spazziest way I could think of.

Oh, back to the traffic thing!!! You were almost off the hook. Tuesday morning I grew some stones and decided to go to work and infect my office. Karma took note of this and made certain it took almost 2.5 hours to get there. Karma then told some pilot to crash his small personal airplane on my offramp, right before I was getting ready to leave, so that I might have the opportunity to be cornered in a traffic jam, with a plane crash to behold for 20 minutes while the NTSB pranced around measuring shit. They're thinking the same thing as me: This is a crash landing. Actual plane crashes look very, very different than this. If you don't believe me, I have some pictures for you. But whatever. The universe was such a dick this week. *Fortunately, my coworkers are NOT dicks, and gave me warning that some plane just COULDN'T get its crashing overwith before it got to my exit, and certainly couldn't pick one of the open fields everywhere out there...so it was perfectly aimed at the Highland/Alpine SB offramp. I was able to kill time in the valley while they removed the little plane, so *I didn't have to see it.

By Friday night, I wanted to scream. Driving daily to and from Utah county has called into serious question the intelligence of our friends in the southerly county. I've had six different commutes since I've worked at my office. Not one of these routes is as prone to constant car accidents and rubbernecking as this route - NB I-15 mornings, SB I-15 afternoons. It's like, a sociological marvel. I don't want to call these people morons...so let's just call them special. If that's condescending, sorry. I'll stop being a prick when these people find a way to repay me the 46 hours of my life they owe me back. It's not just the accidents they like to get in all the time. It's the general, overall waiting behind their asses in traffic while they crawl past point of the mountain, pointing out shapes in the clouds, and/or otherwise pretending that they are in a parade and their car is a float. For no effing reason. (Other than 3 days earlier it was snowy).

When I started blogging five years ago, my blog was up and running solely for my bitching and moaning pleasure. It evolved into general merriment of mocking obnoxious liberals, then became about how seriously so blessed I was, then mocked obnoxious conservatives, then got really empty all of a sudden. Next thing I knew, I was getting divorced. And it became about that. And then....well, you've read it. It is a sad blog now. I have a sad life, one that I sometimes wish I could have someone else come live for me for just a couple days while I got my spirit back to health.

And now, we see that it has come full circle. It is, true to its roots, now a forum for my bitching and negativity. So something is finally right in the world.

**Not to make light of this poor guy's situation. He crashed his Beech and only barely survived. I was vicariously relieved for his family. I hope they know how blessed they are.