You wish you were moi.

So if you know me in person, you may have seen me moping around or bursting into tears about my upcoming birthday. Oh, and when they say the holidays are sad for new widows (oh wait, we weren't married, it doesn't count), they don't really mean Halloween. Except Halloween was sad. Not spending my birthday (and Thanksgiving) with Rbf is taking this intense emotional toll on me. We already know I'll probably need to be institutionalized on Christmas. But you'd think these other holidays wouldn't render so much dread in me.

The worst part is, I can't decide whether I'm turning 28 or 58. On my way home today, I had to physically restrain myself from getting off the freeway to get myself another pound of See's candy, since I polished my last one off in about 2 days. I had the box of chocolates open on my desk at work the entire time. My coworkers watched in horror as the count of bon-bons diminished rapidly. If only my to-do list did the same thing.

I have been listening to nothing but Nat King Cole's Christmas album (aside from my usual dose of Swimmers) alone in the car, or when there are chewing noises in the office. It's a secret, because so many people become enraged at the early onset of Christmas joy. They don't know that it isn't so much joy, as it is comfort. There is comfort in this old guy's voice. Is there not?

I check my PO Box. There is quite a stack in there. Roughly 90% of it is from PETA and its sister organizations. When you receive mail from me, it will feature my new return address labels, complete with turtles and bunnies holding things in their mouths (photoshopped, of course, as They Are Not Ours To Gag). I am that lady that gets all her mail from something with a sad kitten on the front.

We did our Kris Kringle drawing for the office (our inter-departmental Secret Santa extravaganza). They give you a little slip of paper to fill out. I handed mine back in and requested that it not be posted publicly. The "no can do" response I got made me regret putting down interests like "Franklin Covey stuff, Scentsy stuff, Aviation themes, Architectural and Home magazines" and my "least favorites" listed as sports and romantic stuff like the Twilight series. Thank God I refrained from saying I'm not into iTunes. I'd come out to my tires slashed in the parking lot.

I am still thinking I made a mistake in not stopping at See's, because it would be so nice as I read my Tori Spelling book. There's nothing like curling up in some sweats with your nasal spray and celebrity tell-all after a long day in your cubicle.

Then today I got home and decided, for whatever reason, to download screensavers of different puppies because I don't want to get sick of the pictures on my hard drive.

PuPpIeS!!!!!

If it makes anyone pity me less, I did pass on the ones wearing sunglasses.