The post I wrote in 8000 words of vinyl lettering.

...or: The obligatory post about all the stuff I did last year.

I'm going to do my best to keep this sounding like one of those noxious Christmas letters you get every year from perfect families. You wanna know what a perfect family looks like? Besides a vinyl stick figure on a car? ME. I'm it. I didn't divorce me, fight with me, lose me in an amusement park, cheat on me, become an addict on me, file foreclosure on me, have to bail me out of jail, scream at me, forget about me, or any other crap dysfunctional imperfect families do within their homes. Like I've always said, I need a vinyl sticker family of just me to put in the rear window of my car because, after all, if you're perfect...you say it to the world in vinyl.

And in overbearing summations at year end. Enter Kirsten.

The year 2010 started off gloriously. Mostly because January 1, I woke up from a nice long night of sleep, having hit the sack at about 10:30 p.m. the night before. I know there was a ball dropping, but I didn't care. I ate a bunch of party food and passed out curled up in Reboyfriend's clothes, telling him Happy New Year out loud, flipping the bird to the 12 on the clock and wondering what I'd be doing the next time around.
I had just backed out of buying a beautiful home because I thought the universe and my dead boyfriance were sending me signs (and still think that). It ended up being the best decision I ever made. Thanks, Jed and Universe. To console myself, I went out and got an Android phone. And a Lexus I didn't need. Shakira kept singing to me everywhere I went that, everything you want you can make it yours. (Except real estate). So I listened to the hip swinger. See below.

That's the Warthog and the guy who sold it to me. I named it after the tanks in Halo because by the time you're in one of those things playing that game, everything in the game becomes tiny and manageable, and you dominate everyone. Primarily with your grenade launcher. I would drive over the snow mounds in the roads and make GI Joe sounds (They're actually spelled "pfffsscchhkktttt...brrrrggggmmmmpppp"). The Warthog and I became fast friends. I drove over everything in it.

Then I went to Brazil for CARNAVALLLLL. You read all about that. And saw pictures. But here are some others. Starting where I was the one white girl on the beach, where the local children were kind of worried for me.

AHH HA HAAA PECS ARE SOO FUNNY LIKE OMG AND STUFF. Tee heeee he heeee. *shrug*

This was before the blindfold got slapped on the poor Guy, apparently so God wouldn't see us Lohan-ing rails and rails of blow off of bibles and small children?

Just kidding. Oh, and did I mention we didn't look like tourists at all? Don't look at my under-thigh fat dimples.

Then my biological father (often referred to as Dad1) passed away. I'm a funeral ninja by now, so while it sucked and I was sick and lost my voice and had to yell my remembrances of him to the people there like a smoker hag, it was peaceful. We buried him in the mountain cemetery my the ranch he left me and Ryan.

I came home and learned I had been picked as one of the 2010 Honeybee Team (for MiLB Salt Lake Bees). That was fun. I realized I had truly made it in life when that first 10-year-old boy wanted me to sign his arm.

And that was a good time. I decided I should have more good times in 2010. Even if they were irresponsible and went against everything I grew up being told not to do...

And so I played. 

(and I'll speed it up)

I had first time meetings with very interesting people.

I volunteered with heroes. 

I road tripped. 

I partied. 

Maybe a little too much. 

But it was all just part of making the most of it, the best I knew how.

I helped my Kindergarten best friend say adieu to her Bachelorette life...

...and cried at her wedding. 

I got my own big girl apartment. 

I went to my 10 year reunion. 

I smiled purty like we all really wanted me to. Like I wanted me to.

(I SAID don't LOOK at my under thigh dimples.) 

and I played happy.

But I spent a whole lot of time in that sweet little cemetery. 

And I cried and cried and cried on that day, one whole year after my world fell out of the sky. 

And every minute of 2010, I never once stopped thinking about what happened in 2009.

And a year is a long long time to feel that way, but it was important that I did, and I'm glad I took that time. Eventually, I felt almost-OK smiling for real. And just like the Format song on the mix CD my aunt Annie made me, I felt it was time to get out of the desert and into the sun.

And to that end, 2010 gave me the rise and fall of one more romance, short-lived, packed with learning, and with great purpose. It was what I needed for that time. And that's all I have to say about that.

2010 was bitter, bittersweet, but it was a good one.

To be continued, the 2011 way.